Kinda Lonely!!

 So it's been around a week since Jeff and Carter left town and its been pretty lonely I won't lie. 

You know its funny how during this quarentine that people are saying they don't need any body or that they are fine. I call BS. Truth is we are designed to be social beings. We thrive on interaction and human conversation. I can't image how people feel when they lose their significant other. Which in some cases the widowed usually follows a few months to a couple years behind. 

My husband is still on this earth, we talk every day that he is out of town, but I come home from work and I smell him in our room. His clothing neatly stacked and waiting to be warn. The bed feels enormous. Like a infinity pool never ending. Empty. I steal his pillows to stack against me. Weirdly enough I try to use stuff animals to cuddle. It's so not the same. 

The second night I cried. I don't know why I cried, but I did. My parter does a significant amount for me at home, and not hearing his voice or seeing his face got extremly hard. 

Now your're thinking.... It's just a week girl, get a grip on yourself. HA. Think of all the things your partner does for you. Can you live with out them? Sure you can do laundry or cook meals for yourself, maybe even have some small conversation, but can you sleep alone? When you are off work can you spend your day alone? I can't. I find myself lost wondering who I can tell my day too. Wondering who will be there when I get home. Is it another empty house? Quiet enough you can hear the crickets. 

Next question you are thinking, you live with 5 other people Taisha, are you really alone? Yes. I am. I love my family, but they don't provide the intimacy a partner does. A brush of the back of the hand or fingers ran through my hair. Some times I think I might be going crazy, but luckily for me, before I hit that point I think he will be home. Cross your fingers for me.