september 4
September 4th, 2010
So things have been going great. There have been some difficulties, but you know every relationship has them. I have been trying to list my stuff on eBay and etsy, so look me up. I have even gone to listing twilight cards on eBay to bring in extra money. Do I sound desperate? I hope not. I mean I am just trying to bring in an extra some odd income to my family you know. Also tonight Carter, Chris and I went out to a very nice dinner at The Old spaghetti Factory. It was nice to be able to go to dinner with my men. I was very happy and so were they. Carter had to announce to our waitress that he farted. Cute huh. Not really. Wow kids do amaze you all the time. I was so embarrassed it was not funny. He thought it was. Yesterday we also went to a movie. It was nice to be able to do some fun things this weekend. We went and saw that vampires suck movie, that mocks Twilight. It was really interesting. I would have enjoyed it, if there was not so much vulgarity you know. They said bitch like every other word it was so stupid. And the amount of sexual content was even worse. I guess that is what they do when they make spoofs of other movies. Well point is we all had fun and Carter slept in my lap, so I didn't have to worry about him watching it. You know I hope one day my mom will have the courage to read some of these one day. I don't know where I am going or where I will be, but I know I am trying to do something with myself and I truly hope they are proud. I know I haven't been the smartest at times or the brightest. I mean if my family were reading this or hearing me say it they would agree with me and laugh. It makes me cry. I very much so miss the laughter of my home. My sister who hangs on me all the time. My brother who always had some smart ass comment. My dad lecturing, my mother oh my mother is the one I miss the most. Some one I could talk to and someone who would say "Taisha your being stupid on your decisions." You know maybe if I had listened I wouldn't have made the mistakes I did. Or better yet I would have been a better mother. I now know why I want another baby so bad. I feel like I didn't take care of Carter the way he needed to be when he was young. Hell I don't even remember some of the things from when he was a baby. I want another one to maybe do things right for once. I know in my heart one day I will do something right and someday someone will be proud. Some part of me feels like I am just one big mistake waiting to happen. I don't know why I am here or what I am supposed to do. I hope one day my son will forgive me for my actions. I have spent most my life trying to please stupid boys who didn't care for me, when the one boy I should have tried to please the most was right in front of me. OK I think I need to go now before I start crying. I have been missing a lot of things lately and I just need to sort it all out. I will be back soon though. Very soon. I hope you all enjoy reading. Goodnight. TS
So things have been going great. There have been some difficulties, but you know every relationship has them. I have been trying to list my stuff on eBay and etsy, so look me up. I have even gone to listing twilight cards on eBay to bring in extra money. Do I sound desperate? I hope not. I mean I am just trying to bring in an extra some odd income to my family you know. Also tonight Carter, Chris and I went out to a very nice dinner at The Old spaghetti Factory. It was nice to be able to go to dinner with my men. I was very happy and so were they. Carter had to announce to our waitress that he farted. Cute huh. Not really. Wow kids do amaze you all the time. I was so embarrassed it was not funny. He thought it was. Yesterday we also went to a movie. It was nice to be able to do some fun things this weekend. We went and saw that vampires suck movie, that mocks Twilight. It was really interesting. I would have enjoyed it, if there was not so much vulgarity you know. They said bitch like every other word it was so stupid. And the amount of sexual content was even worse. I guess that is what they do when they make spoofs of other movies. Well point is we all had fun and Carter slept in my lap, so I didn't have to worry about him watching it. You know I hope one day my mom will have the courage to read some of these one day. I don't know where I am going or where I will be, but I know I am trying to do something with myself and I truly hope they are proud. I know I haven't been the smartest at times or the brightest. I mean if my family were reading this or hearing me say it they would agree with me and laugh. It makes me cry. I very much so miss the laughter of my home. My sister who hangs on me all the time. My brother who always had some smart ass comment. My dad lecturing, my mother oh my mother is the one I miss the most. Some one I could talk to and someone who would say "Taisha your being stupid on your decisions." You know maybe if I had listened I wouldn't have made the mistakes I did. Or better yet I would have been a better mother. I now know why I want another baby so bad. I feel like I didn't take care of Carter the way he needed to be when he was young. Hell I don't even remember some of the things from when he was a baby. I want another one to maybe do things right for once. I know in my heart one day I will do something right and someday someone will be proud. Some part of me feels like I am just one big mistake waiting to happen. I don't know why I am here or what I am supposed to do. I hope one day my son will forgive me for my actions. I have spent most my life trying to please stupid boys who didn't care for me, when the one boy I should have tried to please the most was right in front of me. OK I think I need to go now before I start crying. I have been missing a lot of things lately and I just need to sort it all out. I will be back soon though. Very soon. I hope you all enjoy reading. Goodnight. TS
You shouldn't beat yourself up so much! Life is all about stupid mistakes and I can't think of a single person who doesn't have something they regret!! Anyway, the boys you were trying so hard to please are the real losers because they couldn't see you for the beautiful person you are!!
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